The Greatest Gift

Connecting with your mom about family recipes.

When talking with others about their cherished family recipes and food memories, it never fails. It always comes back to the moms, grandmothers and matriarchs of the family.

Surely there have been men who have graced a kitchen with their presence and made a mark, but you can’t argue that it’s typically the women who are the “keepers” or caretakers of the beloved dishes that represent their family’s history, culture and traditions. They hold the key to the past and are most often the ones who possess the family recipes (whether written down or in their head), continue to make their family’s favorite dishes for holidays and special occasions and play a role in passing on their family’s recipes on to the next generation.

A few years ago, I wrote about the OG keepers in my family—my grandmas and some special aunts who were all long gone by the time I started to take an interest in cooking and baking. I have great memories of these fine ladies, including time spent together around their tables eating food they had prepared, but I would give anything to go back in time to chit-chat and pick their brains about family recipes!

I would definitely ask my Grandma Hilma about her perfect buns that no one seems to have a recipe for, I would ask Ede about her tricks for making melt-in-your-mouth divinity and I would ask my Grandma Frances to share the secret to her irresistible cheesy potatoes (although I have recently learned that it was probably sour cream & onion potato chips). The point is that I now realize how amazing it would have been to cook and bake alongside them and learn their wise ways when I had the chance.

Today, I am beyond grateful to have my mom Carol and my mother-in-law Mary Lou to tap for family recipes and for tidbits into our family’s food traditions. In addition to tracking down handwritten recipes from yesteryear or lending me their well-used cookbooks, we’ve spent time baking and cooking together. It’s time that I will forever cherish, a true gift, that will help little old me to carry on our family’s food traditions…although there are some pretty big shoes to fill!

As I’ve been interviewing people for my cookbook, I love hearing how they are reaching out and connecting with others in their own families, including their mothers and grandmothers, who are the keepers of their cherished family recipes. I have witnessed firsthand the joy and pride that people have when given the opportunity to revisit family recipes and talk about their memories, share pictures, discover lost recipes, etc. Some recent examples:

• My neighbor Katie gathered with her mom, grandma, aunts, a cousin and their kids this winter to make their family recipe for Poppy Kuchen, a delicious, German coffee cake. It’s a recipe that has been handed down through the generations from Katie’s late great-grandma but one they had never made together. Inspired to “dish and tell,” the family got together to make the cherished family recipe under the watchful eye of her grandma, who is now the matriarch of the family, to get her personal tips and tricks and also spend the day talking about family recipes and sharing memories. Her grandma even brought a number of recipes and old cookbooks to share and it was a special day for all that they hope to make a new annual tradition.
• This past January, I had the chance to observe the passing of a family recipe from one generation to the next. I visited my new friend Barb’s home to make Flamossa, a light and airy dessert of Danish origins, along with her daughter-in-law who was eager to learn the family recipe. It was a delightful morning as Barb walked through the steps to make this “fluff pudding” that has been part of her family’s holiday traditions for decades and shared her memories along the way.
• Last, my conversation with Jess about her great-grandma’s apple butter recipe prompted her to reach out to her extended family and, to her surprise, she learned one of her aunts has her great-grandma’s recipe box! It includes several handwritten recipes including a long-lost recipe for Honey Jumbos, a tasty cookie that her great-grandma was known for that Jess has been wanting to make for years.

Stories like this warm my heart and are the very intent of why I started this blog nearly five (!) years ago!! Again, since these conversations often come back to the mothers or grandmothers in the family, why not use Mother’s Day as an opportunity to pay tribute to these fine ladies for their role in your family’s food traditions and also connect with them and bond over family recipes? 

Mother’s Day Gift Idea: Dish & Tell with Your Mom

What a gift it would be to spend time with your mom, for her and you, cooking or baking a beloved family dish together and talking about her favorite food memories.

Mother’s Day Gift Idea: Package up a wooden spoon, other kitchen tool or some of the dish’s ingredients along with an invitation to “dish and tell.” Extend the invite to others in the family and make it a party!

When the day comes, make your mom feel like the guest of honor. If you are making one of her recipes, gather all the ingredients, don’t leave all the work to her and handle the clean-up! Serve some snacks and, most importantly, make time to sit and visit!

Tell your mom to bring out her recipe box, old cookbooks and family photo albums. Ask her questions such as:

• What kinds of foods do you remember eating when you were growing up? What were your favorites?
• What are some of your fondest memories of being in the kitchen with your parents or grandparents?
• Are there holidays or special occasions that stand out to you because of the food we shared as a family?
• What is your favorite meal to cook for others?
• What recipes have been in the family a long time? What is their history?

Don’t forget to document the day! Take pictures, record a video or audio of your mom sharing stories.

Take it from a daughter who is also a mother, connecting with your mom over favorite family recipes is such a special way to pay tribute to the ones who raised us, learn about our family’s food history and ensure that these traditions are passed along to the next generation. It’s also a great way to spend quality time together which is what moms really want!

Happy Mother’s Day!